“My Name is Notmee and I am Innocent of all False Allegations”

“My Name is Notmee and I am Innocent of all False Allegations”

(Why is everybody always picking on me?)

11/2014, JBH Wonders

I must speak out at this time, as I can bare it no longer. For generations now children and some adults have been blaming me for the theft, breakage, and loss of everything imaginable. I have been blamed for hitting little sisters, taking the last cookie from the jar, leaving a toy in the driveway, locking little brothers in the bathroom, and even stealing automobiles.

The blame and finger pointing has been directed towards me because of a broken dish or someone let the cat out of the house. Not to mention mowing through flowerbeds, soaping the neighbor’s window and sisters stealing each other’s diaries.

Even with obvious evidence of some child’s guilt and of my innocence, I have been blamed for getting into mom’s makeup case, dads shaving cream, sisters nail polish, and spilling milk on the floor.

And lets not forget other household offences. I have never dumped a can of flour on a cat, put salt in a sugar bowl, cut off the straws on a broom, spilled nail polish remover on an oak dinette table, drew pictures on the wall with crayons, thrown my sister’s clothes out the window, thrown my brother’s clothes out the window, put a frog in a breadbox, grind all of the pencils down with the electric pencil sharpener, nor tear pages out of the phone book to make paper airplanes. It wasn’t I who did these things. (Is there someone by the name of Wasnteye that I have just passed the blame to?)

Never there to defend myself and more times than not, some of the real offenders have never been revealed. Parents throughout the generations believe that I am a very mischievous individual with no respect for anyone and just an all around troublemaker.

Though not perfect, I am a peaceful individual and do not seek to cause parents any grief nor want go through everyone’s house to reek havoc and get children into trouble.

May I propose a truce? From here on, I will forgive and forget the past tarnishing of my name and hope from here on children (and some adults) will “fess up” to the errors of their ways, take the consequences and leave me out of it.